Hacksaw to the throat

Dilated

insomnia

too exhausted to be awake

too full of life to sleep

full of questions

about the horror which tomorrow brings

about the love I wont let myself feel

turning and rolling, tremble and cough

I cant stay still

but moving keeps me awake

craving the sedation

that only sleep can bring

searching for a fix I cant find

my eyes shut tight

thinking the darkness can caress me into sleep

it is never dark enough

I hold my breathe

hoping for the release that only being unconscious can bring

but I never have the strength

hours of anguish, lead to a second of bliss

which will leave me in a world that has only pain for me

tear my eyes out

every time they open I awake in a more painful reality




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